When Elves Pilot Gundams
by Tseecka Akeunah
Summary: Random Insanity...Legolas steals Nataku and goes on the rampage through every universe imaginable...
1. Part 1

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or any other anime, T.V. show, movie or book characters, worlds, or creatures unless I created them! My characters ( Lia) and weapons ( BladeRifle) are my own and I own them so no one can use them without my permission! But I'm likely to give it. Oh and anything appearing in these ** is spoken by the Narrator. Otherwise things might not make much sense.

WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS.

Legolas: WHOO-HOO! Take that, ugly looking orc peoples.

Some orc: BLEAGIHRHIABK!! (Die stupid elven man!)

Lia: Hey now! What's going on here?! *holds out remote and presses pause*

Legolas: Gee, thanks. I needed a breather.

Lia: All right people what is going on?!

Legolas: I found this giant Ent-type thing back there in Mirkwood and decided to use it to stop the Orcs. Was that wrong of me?

Lia: Oy vei...Legolas, did it look anything like this? *holds out a picture of Nataku*

Legolas: Yeah actually it does. See? *shows Lia*

Lia: WUFEI!!! *screams at the top of her lungs Legolas and orcs cover ears*

Wufei: Yeah? Lia: We found your...LEGOLASGETBACKHERE!!! *Legolas has taken off in Wufei's Gundam and is relentlessly blasting orcs, trolls, and an occasional Balrog*

Legolas: What the.! It has no sword! No shield, no arrows, no type of warrior is this?! *seeing a giant tree and long LONG rope Legolas fashions a gigantic bow and equips Nataku with it. He then sits down and makes a bunch of arrows to fit in the quiver he has strung over Nataku's back*

Wufei: Nataku, I feel your shame...INJUSTICE!!!

Lia: Wufei, calm down. Let Legolas just...do his thing. *Legolas has now fashioned a super large elven tunic and fitted it to Nataku's frame*

Lia: Isn't it wonderful? Fanfiction magic. Make a tunic big enough to cover my school in five seconds flat, along with bow, quiver and arrows to equip Jack's best friend.

Wufei: Lia, get a grip.

Lia: Huh? Sorry. It's hard being a character and authoress at the same time.

Wufei: Whatever. Just get Nataku out of the hands of that lunatic.

Lia: NO LEGOLAS!!! DON'T BLOW UP...Isengard.

Wufei: He needs to learn how to aim.

Lia: NO DUH! *ducks blaster fire*

Wufei: Um, who are these guys?

Lia: Star-troopers who do not belong in this fic! *All the orcs mob the Troopers and soon all that's left are a few...helmets.*

Lia: Now, see, this isn't right. *shows that head is still inside one helmet*

Wufei: Injustice.

Legolas: WHOO-HOO!! I GOT DA HANG OF IT NOW...or not. *Gondor blows up*

Lia: Now why'd you do that! *uses remote and rewinds*

Lia: GET OUTTA DERE ARAGORN!!!!

Aragorn: Gotcha. *runs* *Gondor blows up*

Wufei: WE NEED TO STOP HIM!! THIS IS INJUSTICE!!!

Lia: Oy vei...I know, Wufei.

Gimli: Help Lia! Legolas just blew up the Mines of Moria.

Lia: Y'know, did you ever think that maybe that place could be jinxed.

Gimli: *Heero-style death-glare*

Lia: I didn't say anything.

Elrond: LEGOLAS IS OUT OF CONTROL AND HEADING TO RIVENDELL!!!

Lia: Okay, now I'm ticked. Wufei, get me Sandrock. Quatre won't mind. I'm going after him.

Wufei: Be back in ten.

Elrond: What will you do?

Lia: *grimly* stop him, anyway I can.

Elrond: *gulp*

Gimli: Look, I don't like elves and all, but try not to kill him.

Frodo: AHHHHH!!!!

Galadriel: No Frodo! Come back! It's only a wedding ring.

Elrond: *sweatdrop*

Gandalf: Um, what's going on?

Lia: Legolas got a hold of a Gundam and he's blowing up Middle-Earth.

Wufei: I got Sandrock.

Lia: I be back soon. *blasts off in Sandrock following Legolas's trail of destruction*

Galadriel: Frodo, please. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. F

rodo: Well, I don't, so take it away.

Elrond: YEEHAW!!

Wufei: That sounded way too much like Legolas for my comfort. *Elrond appears, piloting Deathscythe Hell Custom*

Lia: eep.

Gimli: Hey, aren't you supposed to be stopping Leggy?

Lia: I am ALMIGHTY AUTHORESS! EVERYWHERE AM I!!! *really cool echo effect*

Lia: Okay, I go back now.

Elrond: This thing rocks!

Wufei: Elrond, please get out of the mobile suit.

Elrond: Nuh-uh. Let's go beat up Sauron!

Gimli: We already did!

Frodo: *still running from Galdariel* Keep it away from me! AAHHHHHH!!!!!

Galadriel: *sweatdrop*

Elrond: Lookit this! *blows up the side of Caradras* hee hee.^_^

Wufei: SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!!

Powerpuff girls: Here we come to save the d- x_X

Elrond: Oops. I didn't do it.*whistles*

Everyone: YAY ELROND!!!

Medabee and Icky: We'll stop him...whoa, that's one big Medabot!

Medabee: Get ready for a Medabee bop- x_X

Everyone but Icky: YAY ELROND!!!!

Elrond: I didn't do it.

Icky: NOOOO!!! MEDABEE GOT BLOWN UP!!!! *Icky explodes*

Everyone: YAY ELROND!!!!

Elrond: I didn't frigging do it!

Everyone: Then who did?

Elrond: Umm, I think it was him.*points other elf now piloting Heavyarms*

Lia: WHAT!!! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!.

Trowa: ...

Lia: Yes I know, Trowa. We'll get him .

Gimli: what's going on with you and Legolas anyway?

Lia:It's not going good...for me.

Everyone: *groan*

Lavitz: Come on everyone, let's have some fun. Chin up. Let's sing "I love y-" *hole appears in his forehead*

Lia: *blows smoke from her BladeRifle, a cross between a sword and a gun.* I hate that song.*disappears*

Gimli: Where'd she go!?

Galadriel: Come on, Frodo! It is just a friggin normal ring made from friggin normal gold! Argh, this isn't working. *reaches down and makes a huge rip in her skirt, then binds it up around her waist, revealing incredibly nice legs. All the men turn their heads* FRODO GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID HOBBIT!...I'll never catch him now. He must be halfway to the Shire by now...waitaminute. *sees...uh oh...LIA GET BACK HERE QUICK!!!!*

Lia: What?

Narrator: Galadriel's about to use Wing Zero Custom to catch up to Frodo, and she has no clue how to pilot the thing.

Lia: I am gonna kill these elves, I swear...kisama.

Galadriel: Now how does this open.

Lia: Galadriel step away from the Gundam or I'll blow your head off.

Galadriel: Okay. Geez. Touchy touchy. I'll just have to run the old- fashioned way, I guess. *sticks out her tongue at Lia and runs after Frodo* It's only a ring Frodo! No evil runes here!

Frodo: Oh really! Then why does it say, "Together forever we'll be"?

Everyone: Oh burn and a HALF!!

Galadriel: GRRRR!!! OMAE O KOROSU!!!!

Wufei: Since when does an elven queen know Japanese?.

Trowa: ...

Wufei: You're right. As usual.

Lia: Okay, I really have to go stop Legolas now. He's about to destroy the entire Digital world!

Everyone: *groan*

Lia: SO anyone touches a Gundam they die, no questions asked, got it?

Everyone: *nods*


	2. Part 2 More craziness ensues

Okay welcome back to all you people! I know I know I coulda put both chapters in one fic, but hey! This is fun! So in case you forgot, here's kinda what's happening.  
  
Lia, All-Mighty Authoress, is chasing after Legolas who is piloting a customized Nataku.  
  
Wufei: FORGET CUSTOMIZED THE ONNA ADDED A TUNIC, BOW AND ARROWS, AND QUIVER TO MY FRIGGING GUNDAM!!! THIS IS INJUSTICE!!! Narrator: Wufei, calm down. Wufei: Fine, fine. Get back to the "Last time." Narrator: Thank you.  
  
.Where was I? Oh yeah, customized Nataku. She is chasing him in Sandrock, her boyfriend's Gundam. (I just had to add that) Meanwhile, Elrond got a hold of Deathscythe Hell Custom, and most recently destroyed Rivendell.then self-detonated.  
  
Duo: Wha.! No one told me this! Lia: WHAT IN SHINIGAMI'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE!!! Duo: ELROND SELF-DETONATED DHC!! Lia: No one told me this.and I, All-Mighty Authoress.oh well. We'll build you a new one. Now, keep rolling. Narrator: Thank you  
  
Some other elf, whom (I was gonna put who, but the spelling-and-grammar check on my computer said that was wrong. Who knew?) I don't have a name for (Let's call him SOE) is now piloting Heavyarms.  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Thank you for that update, Trowa. Apparently, SOE has been apprehended and Heavyarms is back in possession of Trowa and Wufei, our two pilots on site at the destroyed Rivendell. Galadriel was chasing after Frodo with a wedding ring and was about to use the Wing Zero Custom to catch him, but was stopped by the All-Mighty (and very attractive) Authoress, Lia.  
  
Narrator: Hey, what the.? I didn't say that! That was NOT in the script! Lia: I used the voice dubbing. Heh heh.^_^' Narrator: Oh well. Too late to change it now.-_-' Lia: Hee hee hee! Narrator: Oy. And you think Gimli is insane. Gimli: WHAT!?! Who said that? Lia: Wasn't me! Narrator: We really need to get that voice dubbing system removed.oh well.  
  
That's about the gist of what's going on. Lia is going to the Digital World to stop Legolas from destroying it. The Sound F/X guy is a loser. ORLANDO BLOOM AND ELIJAH WOOD, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! heh heh.this is Y.A.O.O.T.A.M.A.A.E*, signing out. *= Yet Another One Of The All Mighty Authoress' Alter Egos  
  
Y.A.O.O.T.A.M.A.A.E: Was that good? Lia: Yeah. Too bad about the interruptions. Buffy: Um, All-Mighty Authoress? I can't seem to find my way to Kanto. Lia: Here, use my map card. Buffy: Thanks! Lia: BUT NO RADIO TOWERS!.  
  
We now return to. WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS  
  
Lia: Wait! I forgot the disclaimers! Legolas: Well, hurry up! I want to destroy the Digital World! Lia: No one said it was guaranteed you were going to succeed. Legolas: Whatever. Just get on with the Disclaimers.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, The Lord of the Rings, Buffy, Orlando Bloom or Elijah Wood (but I sure wish I did!) or any of that seeing as how I haven't yet had the chance to pull a Salem Saberhagen and take over the world.bad example, cuz he didn't actually succeed. I haven't yet had a chance to take over the world and all anime and fantasy and sci-fi books T.V. shows and movies, so I don't own them. Lia, and also Y.A.O.O.T.A.M.A.A.E, are my characters- you can't use them without my permission. Ask and you might get it. BladeRifles are also my invention. ( and for all of you FF addicts, it is NOT, I repeat, NOT a take-off of the Gunblades, I already had the idea before I ever even knew nething about FF. Actually, BladeRifles are a cross between a gatling gun and a bastard sword. Much more powerful than the Gunblades.) Oh and I don't own Legend of Dragoon or any other video games. I wish I owned Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom, you two are the greatest and hottest actors, but I don't. Yet. ^_~ Oh and he's not in this fic, but I also want to own Heath Ledger. I'm a girl. What can I say? ^_^'  
  
Legolas: Will you hurry it up already!? Lia: Okay, I'm done now.  
  
Now we really return to.  
  
WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS  
  
Legolas: Yes, run, you pitiful Mons! You will be destroyed! Takato: What's that, a new Deva!? Rika: I don't know, but it looks powerful. Kazu: We can beat it.right, guys? Lia: Nope. Let me handle this. Henry: Hey, wait a minute! I know you! Rika: It is All-Mighy Authoress, Lia! Takato: Get down, you guys! Everyone: *bows* Lia: I love being an All-Mighty Authoress! ^_~ Takato: We need your help, oh A.M.A. Henry: Um, Takato? We're not in Canada anymore. They don't have an Alberta Motor Association. Guilmon: Actually they do, but it's a way long way away from here. Lia: Oy vei.I am surrounded by idiots. Rika: How may we serve you, oh A.M.A? Henry: You too, Rika? Rika: It's short for All-Mighty Authoress, dimwit. Henry: Oh. Shutting up now. Lia: MOVE!! LEGOLAS IS COMING!! Legolas: you will never stop me! I am an elf! I am unstoppable! I can't be stopped! you can't stop me! Lia: We get the point, now get out of the Gundam before I shoot you. Legolas: NEVER!! This thing has too much power! I have never had this much power before, not even when I held Shadowfax's reins in my hands. Lia: You did WHAT?! Gandalf won't be happy when he finds this out. Legolas: You will never catch me! *blasts off into the distance and is sucked up by a data-stream* Rika: Not good. Kazu: We have to follow him, don't we? Lia: Yup. Let's go! *blasts off into the data-stream as well* Takato: These people are stupid. Kento: Yeah. I noticed. Jeri: Should we follow them? Terriermon: Nah, this is their fight. We shouldn't worry about it. Momentai! Suzie: You say that one more time Terriermon and I'm gonna hit you! Terriermon: Eep. Lia: *poking Gundam's head out of the data-stream* Are you guys coming or not? Henry: nope. Takato: No way. Rika: You wouldn't catch me dead in there. Kazu: No more adventures. Jeri: No more fighting. Suzy: HENRY I'M SCARED!! Kento: Shut up Suzy. Suzy: Okay Kento. I sorry. Henry: -.-' Lia: Fine. See if you survive. Guilmon: Maybe we should go, Takatomon. Takato: No. I will be strong. Guilmon: Remember what happened last time. Takato: SHUT UP YOU STUPID MON!!! Guilmon: Okay, okay. Sorry.  
  
WE INTERRUPT THIS FIC FOR A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN Lia: Hi everyone. Guess what I just noticed! This is gonna be a really short chapter.but oh well. I like chapters. It's fun. If you want to read any more, you've gotta review. I'm not posting anything else until you do. I have it all written, though. So just review, say "I WANT OT READ THE REST OF THIS FIC" and bingo! It's up. Just one review is all I need, just so I know that someone is actually reading this fic. Okay? Okay! So this means that.this is the end of the chapter and of the fic for now. BWAHAHAHA!! Talk about a cliff-hanger, eh? 


	3. Part 3 Yet more craziness

Hey all you people! Leggy is getting really, REALLY amd at me.he seems to think he's going to succeed in destroying the Digital World and wants to get on with it.stupid baka, but I love him newayz! ^_~. So I think you all know the drill. Disclaimers: I don't own anything but mai own characters. So there.  
  
WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS  
  
Lia: I have you now, Legolas! Legolas: NEVER! I will not be defeated! Buffy: Um, Lia? Is this a bad time? Lia: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN THIS FIC!!!! Buffy: You, um, typed out my name and my dialogue?. Lia: Yeesh. Oh well, whatever. What do you want? Buffy: Um, I know these people should be used to strange things by now, but they're looking at you funny.and they expect me to vanquish this demon and all that jazz, and I'm gonna be late for work.Y'know, the Doulbe-Meat Palace? Lia: What.the.heck..am.I.doing.in.SUNNYDALE!?!? Legolas: You were probably looking for an interesting plot twist! Lia: Shut up, Leggy! Legolas: Shutting up now. Lia: good. Elijah Wood: eew, eew, eew. Lia: What happened to you? Elijah: I had to clean up Ozzy's dog's pee.not.nice. Lia: Go get some therapy, okay? Elijah: Yeah, okay. Buffy: Um, what the heck was that? Lia: I'm not exactly sure. Legolas: Plot twist. Lia: Legolas!! Legolas: Actually, that's a compliment. It takes a severely twisted, demented, and diabolical brain to come up with numerous twists that leve the reader confused, and/or busting a gut as they roll on the floor, laughing. Lia: Oh. ^_^. Legolas: Can I blow up the Digital World now? *By the wonders of digital animation, Nataku is suddenly transformed into a little black dog.* Lia: Toto, I don't think we're in the Digital World anymore. *By the wonders of rewing, cut and paste, Nataku is reverted back to her original state.* Lia: What the heck was that? Legolas: Yet another severely twisted plot twist. But I think that was a little too far. Lia: Why do you say that? Legolas: *gestures to the corner of the screen where Wufei has done a Looney-toones effect where he puts his head through a hole into the scene to speak to the characters.* Wufei: As if it's not enough to dress Nataku in elvin clothing, you have to go and turn her into a dog?! INJUSTICE!!! Lia: Oy vei. Get out of here, Wufei. You don't belong in Sunnydale. Buffy: Yeah the women here are strong. Stronger than you. Especially me. I could kill you in one blow. Wufei: Eep! *dissapears as the hole closes.* Takato: Where.are we now? Rika: Hmph. Obvoiusly, in another dimension of the Digital world, which we have gotten to by going through the dta-stream. Henry: Speaking of other dimensions.I'M FLAT!!! Terriermon: Momentai! Guilmon: Terriermon, will you PLEASe stop saying that? Terriermon: Okay. Henry: I'M FLAT!! Takato: SO AM I!! AND RIKA!!! AND KAZU!!! AND.EVERYONE!! Lia: Of course you are. You are just cartoons.drawings on pieces of paper, with height and width. You have do depth. Henry: All my worst nightmares are coming true! I'm.not real. Rika: Shut up you fool! *looks at herself* Hey waitaminute! I'm flat too! Ryo: I know, that's why I'll never go out with you. I like a woman with big breasts! *Kenta puts his hands over MarineAngemon's ears* Kenta: Hello! Unappropiate! Ryo: X_x *Rika has hit Ryho.very.hard.* Lia: Rika! Henry: I'm FLAT!!! I'm a flat drawing.I'm not real.don't you guys see? We're not real. We're just ink and pencil. Even Digimon.Digimon aren't real. Nothing is. Lia: That's cuz you're in the REAL real world. Oh, for goodness' sakes. Get outta here back to your 2D world where you are perfectly normal and forget this ever happened. *waves her hands and the tamers disappear* Legolas: How'd you do that? Lia: the magic of fanfics. *to herself* If only I could forget this ever happened. Legolas: Now, c'mon! Let's battle! Wufei: Um, I hate to tell you this, but there are a bunch of guys and gals with axes and stakes, and a bunch of vampire punks, and they're all advancing towrads each other and you're in the middle and, well.I DON'T WANT WILLOW ANYWHERE NEAR MY GUNDAM!!! Actually, I don't want Legolas anywhere near my Gundam either, but it's too late to change that. Lia: Wufei. Willow knows more about mechanics than anyone I know. Wufei: I don't care. She'd ruin Nataku out of spite. Lia: -_^ *supposed to be a raised eyebrow.* Wufei: *sighs* We used to date. Long story. Lia: And I really don't want to hear it. However, if you do *points at readers* then review my friggin story and tell me. I'll get Wufei to write out the whole, twisted thing! *grins evilly* Wufei: But I flunked Language Arts.*disappears* Lia: Legolas, will you please kill me so that I can stop myself from writing these demented and twisted plot twists that are frankly scaring the bejeezus outta me cuz I have no idea my mind was that demented and twisted.in other words, I'M SCARING MYSELF!! You.What? Yeah, you. The reader. What, you didn't think I wouldn't involve my readers in my stories? Jeez. Anyway. You: You're scaring me, too. But I'm gonna keep reading because I can't wait to see what happens next! *hint, hint* Lia: Gee, you're so nice. I'll try to update more often, okay?.*to Legolas* SEE WHAT I MEAN?! Legolas: Uh-oh. Diabolically grinning witch at 12 o'clock.she knows it's Wufei's Gundam! I'm getting outta here! Lia: Hold on! *Sandrock grabs Nataku's arm* Willow.did something with her hair.OH GOD IT'S SALLY!!! WILLOW HAS SALLY'S HAIR!!! LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!! *the two of them blast off into a cataclysm that has appeared beneath the radio tower where they have all of a sudden been moved to, because that's the only way a certain dememted authoress can get them into the next place they're gonna go to fight.* A.M.A: And that's the end of this chapter, I added the last part after I did Chapter four, so I hope I'm not confusing you.keep reading, and review! PLEASE! Or I'll sic.everyone who has so far appeared in this fic on you! ^_^' 


	4. Part 4 Insane plot twists galore

Well, I'm back, with another chapter of this insane-type fic. I'm sick right now and I have nothing better to do with my life than write another chapter of this insane, strange-type fic and hope that someone will read it which I doubt. So.oh well. It's kinda fun to write. Once again, the only thing I own in this fic is the title and the disclaimers and my own characters and weapons. Everything else I wish I owned but I don't. I will someday. But for now, just read.  
  
WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS  
  
Legolas: Okay, now where the heck are we? Lia: I'm not sure.It kinda looks like. Pikachu: PIKA!!! Ash: Okay, Pikachu, attack! Lia: Oh YAY. Ash Ketchum and his sickeningly cute sidekick Pikachu. Oh well. This is almost peaceful.just as long as. Powerpuff Girls: Here we come to save the day! Lia: I though Elrond killed you!? PPG: That was an AU! This is our world now! Lia: Oh great. And what's this? Buffy: Another AU! Lia: Why the heck do you keep following me!?! Buffy: I don't know. Probably the same reason I kept sleeping with Spike. Lia: Okay, I didn't like that remark! Buffy: Then delete it! Lia: I will! Buffy: Another AU! Lia: Why the heck do you keep following me? Buffy: I don't know. Cuz I just want to! Lia: GET OUTTA MY SITE!!! Buffy: Fine. Yeesh. Lia: Okay, now that she's gone. Quatre: How did I get here, and what is my girlfriend doing in my Gundam and where am I?!! Lia: QUATRE!!! *glomps* Quatre: Get.off.of.me. Lia: Sorry. Um to answer your questions. *quatre disappears* Lia: Okay, these plot twists of mine are getting really annoying! Legolas: I WANT TO FIGHT!!! Ash: Then fight me! PPG: And us! Lia: The only person Legolas is gonna be fighting is ME! Sound F/X guy: BOOOOOMMMM!!!!! Lia: I DID NOT CALL FOR ANY EXPLOSIONS! GET OUT OF HERE! Sound F/X Guy: Okay. Lia: Thank Shinigami for that Umi: Excuse me! Thank Shinigami, but not Shinigamet? I'm insulted! Lia: Sorry Umi. Umi: Thank you. *disappears* Lia: I need help badly. These plot twists are getting stupid. Legolas: They'd be better if you let them continue. Lia: And let them ruin my plot? Legolas: I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think you have a plot! Lia: I do so! I keep chasing you everywhere then eventually we battle! Legolas: That's not how you write a fanfic. Lia: And how would you know?! Legolas: I wrote a best-selling fanfic about Seven-of-Nine and Malcolm thank you very much! Lia: Now that's not right. Everyone knows Seven's got the hots for Chakotay! Legolas: No, Janeway's the one who likes Chakotay. Lia: Okay. Let me write this out for you. The EMH has the hots for Seven who likes Chakotay who likes Janeway who has a friggin husband that she wants to get back to! Legolas: What about Enterprise? Lia: Well, Trip's got it in for T'Pal- Legolas: Wait a minute! Is that how you spell her name? Lia: Yes. If I may continue?. Legolas: Go ahead. Lia: That is all the pairing for Enterprise, but I'm not sure if Hoshi's got a crush on someone.I'm thinking maybe Reed.And does or doesn't John like Hoshi at least a bit?.Anyway, those are the pairings! Legolas: Look at it this way. At least it wasn't a Seven-of-Nine and T'Pal pairing. Lia: Fine. I'll give you that. Legolas: Now, see how much better and more interseting that plot twist made your fic? Lia: I think it was just boring. Incidentally, if you like Star Trek, check out my other fic. Look up my pen name, Tseecka Akeunah. Legolas: But of course, you know your fic can't be any better than mine! Lia: "What is Dreaming" can. That's another of my fics. Plz read it and review it, it may have many chapters, but I need reviews! Legolas: Stop trying to sell your fics and let's get going. Lia: Um, I can't. I only have half-an-hour on the computer and it's almost up. Legolas: WHEN DO I GET TO FIGHT YOU!!! Lia: Sometime. Quatre: Lia, why are you in my Gundam? Lia: Because I'm trying to destroy this evil elf who has stolen Nataku and equipped it with elvish armour and weapons.now go back to sleep. Quatre: Okay. Lia: So, TTFN! And READ MY OTHER FICS!!! PLEASE!!!! 


	5. Part 5 Resistance is futile

WHEN ELVES PILOT GUNDAMS  
  
(A/N) I recently found out about Yu-Gi-Oh and am now obssessed so there will be some Yu-Gi-Oh in this chappy!  
  
Lia: Okay. finally, some peace and quiet, where- Joey: Hey everyone! Lia: And there it goes. Joey: Hey! It's A.M.A! Lia: WILL EVERYONE PLEASE STOP IT WITH THE A.M.A. STUFF!!! IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!! CXALL ME EITHER ALLMIGHTY AUTHORESS OR LIA!!! I DON'T CARE!!! JUST NO MORE ALBERTA MOTOR ASSOCIATIONS!!! Joey: Man, Lia, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or somethin'? Yikes! Tristan: *stage-whisper* It's called P.M.-*twack* Tea: Hmph. Get your minds out of the gutter! Tristan: S. *twack* WHAT?! Joey: *snicker*Can't. I live in the gutters. *twack* What'd I say! Lia: And whose idea was it to include these idiots in my fic? *looks pointedly at Legolas* Legolas: Well gee, how was I supposed to know that Joey lived in the gutters? Now c'mon, let's finish our duel! Lia: Don't.say.that.word.in.front..of.Joey. Joey: Hey, you're fighting a duel? I'll duel either one of you and whip you too. C'mon, please! Let's duel! somebody? Anyone wanna duloe? Oh, c'mon! I'll stake my Red-eyes!. Lia: If I duel you, will you go away! Legolas: Hey, wait-a-second! I'm gonna duel you, Lia! Lia: No, Leggy, we're gonna fight. I'm gonna duel Joey! Joey: Awright! *Whips out his deck* It's time to duel! Yami: Hey, hang on just a minute! That's my line! Joey: Huh? Since when? Yami: Haven't you ever watched the opening to our show? Joey: We have a show? Yami: On YTV and Kids WB! Joey: What is it about? Yami: Us and our adventures! Joey: Wha-! you mean, our lives are being taped! (A/N: Joey knows about the show at this moment. He's currently thinking up a plan to embarrass Tea) Every single day, every single action.whoops! *glances at Tea* I wonder if they caught that one night.man, I hope so! Other girls could really learn a lot from you Tea on how to- *twack* Tea: *who is majorly red in the face* Joseph Wheeler, how drae you imply that I would do such a thing, especially with.you! Joey: Hee hee hee! *Tea runs off intot he woods, followed by Tristan* Joey: What? She is good, really. You should try it with her, Yami- *twack* Yami: *swinging Tea's dropped purse from one arm* Get your minds out of the gutter, Joey. It's time to du-du-du-du-du-du-du-duel! Joey: Oookay, then. *turns to Lia who is already standing at the edge of a dueling arena which wasn't there before.* Wha-! Where'd this come from? Lia: The wonders of faniction magic, coupled with a demented mind. Joey: Okay then. You start. Lia: Before we begin, I want to offer you the chance to abdicate. Joey: Why would I do.that.*has just seen Lia's hand, which consists of three BEWD, the BEUD ritual card, and a REBD.* Ah. I see. Lia: Give up, and your honor is intact. Joey: I give up. Lia: Phew. Now, everyone go away. Legolas and I are gonna battle in our Gundams now and I don't want to step on anyone *Bakura's yami enters* Except maybe him.  
  
Suddenly, the forest disappears and Lia and Legolas are floating in space.  
  
Legolas: Watch out, Lia! You're about to get un over by the starship Enterprise! Lia: Who cares? Then there will be an end to these demented plot twist type thingys. Legolas: Oh. Well, I gues syou would rather die than meet a certain Commander Tucker. Lia: OMG!!! He's on the ship, isn't he? *both dock onto the ship and board* Lia: Tucker? Trip! Where are you? T'Pol: Commander Tucker as well as the Captain are on an away mission at the moment. Lia: Boo-hoo. *Brightens* Can we play with the holo-deck? T'Pol: I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean. Lia: Oh pooh. You don't have holo-decks yet, do you? T'Pol: What are holo-decks? Lia: they are kinda like holograms, except more real, like the EMH.oh wait, you don't have those yet either, do you? T'Pol: I have no idea what you speak of. Lia: *to Legolas* This is fun! Messing with T'Pol's mind.hee hee hee. Legolas: Lia, we need to finish our battle. You can mess with Vulcan minds later. Lia: I am the allmighty authoress! I can do whatever I please! Lia: Actually, you can't! I'm BAAACCKKK!!! Legolas: Wha-! *looks at two identical Lias, standing in front of him* Lia: I am the real Lia. This Vuclan-mind-messing person is actually my handmaiden, Padme, who also doubles as my bodyguard. Legolas: huh? *Lia has transformed into a certain Queen of Naboo* Obi-wan: What new devilry is this? *looks at the Gundams* More technology of the bad-people? (A/N: It's morning, I'm tired, I haven't had my coffee. Plus I'm not sure which Episode I'm on right now so I don't remember who the bad-guys are. Don't flame me) Lia: (the real one, and FYI, the handmaiden is gone) OBI!!! *glomps* Obi-wan: Gettoffame! Lia/Amidala: Sorry. Where's Ani? obi-wan: (Looking grave) Anakin went to the dark side many years ago, just after Luke was born. He is now Darth Vader. Lia/Amidala: EEWW!!! *she has been glomping the OLD Obi-Wan. Like the really old one.* Legolas, how did this happen? It's my fic, why aren't I glomping the incredibly hot Obi-Wan Kenobi! Legolas: Well, what is the one thing we have been missing lately. Lia: *groans* You mean this is another plot twist? Legolas: Exactly. Lia: WAAAAA!!!!! I WANNA GLOMP HOT OBI-WAN!! WAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Steiner: Where am I? One minute I'm trying to rescue the Princess, the next I'm.where? Zidane: Calm DOWN, Sir Rustalot! Steiner: I told you, stop calling me that. Now, we need to find the princess! Zidane: yah, I'm on it, Don't worry. *Both disappear* Legolas: Okay, now what was that? Lia: (To readers) I just began playing FF9 and it rocks, so I had to put something in here. However, I don't think Star Wars was exactly the place. 


End file.
